Metaphysical Doors
by RivikaStyx
Summary: This wasn't really his brother, oh it was his brothers body, but without his soul, Sam is just a reanimated zombie and nothing of his brother resides there anymore. Where does he go from here? Smaller chapters - Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Title****:** Metaphysical Doors

**Rating****: **M/MA - Strong Cuss words, torture, violence, and suggestive adult themes

**Summary/Prompt****:** Setting is **AU** after Episode All Dogs Go To Heaven. Sam has admitted exactly what Dean didn't want to hear. This wasn't really his brother, oh it was his brothers body, but without his soul, Sam is just a reanimated body and nothing of his brother resides there anymore. How much more can Dean take? Where does he go from here?

**Warnings/Spoilers****:** This story takes place in the current **Season 6** atmosphere that being said some spoilery goes on here but I use that term loosely.  
**Word Count****:**

**A/N:** After watching this latest episode I thought to myself wow, Sam's character is really pushing Dean's love to brink. How does Dean keep from breaking? Is he doing this out of love or is he running on pure instinct? Is this more about saving his brother or himself now?

**A/N**: What is Metaphysics? The word "metaphysics" derives from the Greek words _μετά (metá)_ ("beyond" or "after") and _φυσικά (physiká)_ ("physics"). There is some debate among scholars as to how to apply this definition to any actual study and that popular uses of this definition today i.e. Metaphysical Healing and so on are to some incorrect as far as applying the term "Metaphysical". I am using the term because it fits my story line, I am not arguing Metaphysics, nor am I applying this in any professional form. I am simply writing fiction.

**Please review and give feedback this is my 3rd fanfic for this site and I'm very excited to hear back on any criticism or advice or just comments in general. Thank you! RivikaStyx**

_I do not own Supernatural, the Winchesters, Castiel, Bobby or any another "cast member" from the TV Show that may creep in to my stories from time to time, but if I did I'd give them cookies every day!_

****Spoiler Alert - I use that term loosely though****

Dean sat at the picnic table for a long while after Sam had walked away thinking over their conversation.

_He cares for no one, not even me. He's killed innocent people all in the name of the hunt. He feels nothing. He agrees it's time to stop playing "I am Sam". Why am I here? What is really keeping me here? Oh god, I need help._

He looked at Sam who was leaning against the Impala fiddling with his cell phone and casting looks at Dean. He could tell by his body language that he was ready to leave but didn't want to approach him, and Dean knew that wouldn't last long. Picking his cell phone out of his pocket Dean dialed Bobby's number.

"Hey Bobby, I need some advice, you got a second." Sam, hearing Bobby's name came back to the table, sat, and stared at Dean.

"What d'ya got for me?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing, actually. I need to know something but I just can't figure out what. Sam admits he's not my brother. He can't feel anything, he doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything, even me. He's not Sam." Dean straight into Sam's eyes when repeated all that to Bobby and not a single emotion played on Sam's face.

"Dean ... " Dean sighed.

"We just had this out Bobby. He told me he's tired of playing at being "Sam, Dean's brother" and it's time he gave it to me straight." Dean held the phone away from his ear as Bobby began yelling and cursing on the other line. Dean was weary, heartsick over the circumstances, and let the phone drop to the table. Sam picked it up.

"Bobby," Sam said, and Bobby stopped, "it's all true what he just said. I suppose it's hard for Dean to hear it. I suppose it's hard for you to hear it as well. And, I suppose Sam would have been apologizing or have something more to say, but I don't. I won't even pretend anymore that I wished that I had more to say because frankly I don't know how much longer I can be around Dean and lie about even that." Dean looked back at Sam, and glared at him hard before looking away again. "What I do know, what I have thought long and hard about, is that I have Sam's memories but none of his "issues" no "complications" essentially none of Sam's previous emotions or problems are holding me back. And exploring Sam's previous actions with mine now I can see the problem, I just don't give a shit." Dean whipped around, anger plainly written on his face, fury rolling off him in waves.

"You dick!" Dean yelled. Sam shrugged.

"It's true, isn't it Dean. That's the problem with me, I don't give a shit about you, or anyone else. And that's what's wrong, what you want to fix." Dean realized Sam was right. Maybe it was just about Dean wanting to fix Sam, instinct from years of doing just that, protecting and fixing, because that's what Dean did. He took the phone from Sam.

"Is that it Bobby? I'm just wanting to fix Sam for myself?" Dean asked, his pain filled eyes on the face of the one person he'd died so many times for.

"Dean, I don't know." Bobby whispered brokenly into the phone. "I think you boys should come here, figure this out." _This is going to end ugly if I can't get them here where I can help._

"Did you hear me boy, I said you get in that car right now and come to me. We'll work this out, figure out how to fix this, something, but right now you and Sam are going down a road that only ends one way Dean, and if I have bury you two boys again you'd better damn well stay dead because I won't go through this shit again. Now get your asses here, double time!" Bobby yelled and hung up the phone, all the while knowing it would be a 50/50 chance if he ever saw the Impala pull into his drive again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sometimes a person can go through only so much, see only so much, do only so much before eventually you have no other choice but to give up, wallow in it, or just simply die. Unfortunately, for the Winchesters, of the Lawrence, Kansas variety that is, the well of endurance for all things masochistic or narcissistic is a deep abyss. As Dean stares at the long dark road ahead of him he remembers back, another dark road, where he was wishing so badly that seat next to him wasn't empty. Now he realizes just how empty that seat can truly be. He looks at Sam and back to the road. He hasn't said much since they left. Dean figures that he knows that a line has been crossed and Dean just can't decide if they've gone too far or what.

"If you can't feel anything, how do you know that you want your soul back? That it would be the "right" thing to get your soul back?" Dean asks Sam, cutting his eyes at him for a second then back to the road. Sam shrugs.

"I don't know." Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. "Really I don't know, it's just the logical conclusion right? I mean I know what Sam would have done, and this is his body. I don't know what I am without a soul, but I definitely don't think I'm your brother, at least not as he was prior to jumping in the pit. If I hadn't come to you when the Djinn were attacking, I probably wouldn't ever have contacted you. Just went on like this forever. And, in a way, I suppose I still could, really. I don't have to be here, neither do you, no matter what strings Crowley wants to pull to get us to bring him alpha's. But my decisions keep me coming back to you Dean." Sam stared hard at Dean this time, who stared hard back at him. "And I think it's because I need to get my soul back. I can't tell you that I truly want it back, because that would imply I actually cared about something and I just don't." Sam looked at Dean, shaking his head. Dean nodded, a slight frown creasing his brow.

"So then the question really is, how far can I push myself to help you, knowing that if we can't get your soul back, I'm stuck with Zombie Sam?" Dean asked.

"You're not stuck with anyone Dean. Being here right now, with me, doing this, it's your choice. You can walk away whenever you want. So can I." Sam stared at him. Dean pulled the car over and looked around, then back at Dean.

"Preferably in a town, if your dumping me off here, of course." Sam said, frowning at Dean. Dean twisted around in his seat, his arm stretching out along the top of the seat, and just looked at him for a long moment.

"So we both chose to stay. You just told me that all your choices pointed you towards me. My choices have kept me with you too. So some part of my brother Sam is in there somewhere, somehow directing you, even if it's small. Right?" he asked. Sam thought it over, a slight look of surprise on his face.

"I suppose so ... yeah. Not emotionally because I don't feel that but .. I can't explain it really. I can make decisions on my own. Some decisions are based on pure instinct at the time, like when I'm hunting. But when I have time to think it over, especially when I'm around you, I tend not to do the things that I would do and more of what Sam might do. Does that make sense?" He looked confused at Dean, who nodded.

"Ok then." Dean turned back to the wheel and pulled the sleek black car onto the road once again. Again they rode in silence for a time.

"So, you don't like me much, do you?" Sam asked, looking at Dean.

"Nope I don't, I don't like you, I don't trust you, and most of all I hate that you wear my brother's body like demon wears a meat suite." Sam nodded. Dean looked at him, did a double take, then sighed.

"Why did you ask me that?" Sam shrugged.

"I was just wondering, if I got my soul back and you hate ME so much, how are you going to feel when your version of "Sam" is back." Dean's face registered shock, anger and pain. None of which Sam could understand, but devastated Dean.

"I don't know." Dean answered, softly, painfully. Sam nodded.

"So, maybe we're back to do you really want to get my soul back?" Sam looked at Dean, who pinned him with a glare. Once again, Dean slammed on the brakes and pulled the car over to the side of the road. Cars honking angrily as they drove past, Dean ignored them and pinned Sam a cold angry glare.

"Listen up you son of a bitch, I find it repulsive that you are what you are. In my mind your like a demon inhabiting my brothers body that I can't get rid of it. But one thing you need to understand, that's a Winchester's body you're in, more importantly MY BROTHER's body, and we're all we had in this fucked up world. He took a swan dive into that cage you sprang from to save me, "Dean stopped for a second, hard to breath, tears forming in his eyes, "to save me and himself and everyone else on this damn planet. And while you're up here defiling EVERYTHING he stood for, he's still in eternal HELL suffering God know's what. So the fact his body has been reduced to some fucking meat suite that breaths and shits makes a difference to me, I GIVE A SHIT. And if there is a way to get my brother back I'll find it and if not I'd run as far from me as you can, because I've had enough." Sam raised his eyebrows at Dean's threat. Dean nodded.

"That's right, I've had enough. I'm nobody's bitch. I'll take you out and follow you straight back to my brother if that what it takes to end this but I will end this. Hell I may just drag that piece of shit Crowley down with me for good measure."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Bobby didn't get a phone call letting him know that Dean and Sam were back to abnormal again, but since he also didn't get a call to claim any bodies he figured they were fine for the time being. He started going through his long extensive list of people that he thought could definitely NOT help with the problem of Sam's soul. Honestly, the top of his list would have been Castiel, but hell any more you can't really tell between him and Sam as far as the cold hearted bastards go. As Bobby flipped through his journal, he came to rest on one name he hadn't thought of in a while. She scared the shit outa him, and wasn't sure what kind of reaction he would get from either her or Dean. He wasn't even sure exactly what she was. But hell, in your 11th hour you'll do just about damn well anything right? He picked up the phone and made the call.

Around midnight Dean pulled into Bobby's, weary and so very ready for a soft bed. Sam had not said much on the way here. Occasionally he asked Dean if he wanted him to take over driving since he didn't sleep anymore and Dean looked exhausted. Dean would simply shake his head and keep his eyes fixed on the road ahead. They got out of the car just as Bobby opened the door and came out on the porch.

"Bobby." Dean's deep voice harsh with bone aching tiredness. Bobby nodded.

"Boys, come on in. Glad to see he's still alive." Bobby cast Dean a stern glare, but he just shrugged and walked in the house.

"Nice to know there's at least one person who isn't jumping on the "let's just kill Sam" wagon." Sam remarked as he walked onto the porch. Bobby cocked his head, and fixed him with a stare.

"The jury's still out on that one, but I may have some help with this, you guys just need to keep an open mind." Sam snorted.

"Won't be a problem for me, he's the one who you'll have a problem with." Bobby nodded.

"More than you know." Bobby sighed and shut the door behind them.

Dean flopped immediately down on the bed beside the window and was instantly asleep. Sam stood leaning against the wall, watching him, alternating looking out the window then back to Dean. Bobby looked at the man and understood what was going through Dean's head. This person was not Sam. Sam would be concerned, emotionally a mess, ready to face whatever was needed to combat the broken relationship.

"What do you think will help this Bobby." He asked, staring out the window.

"If I get the answer I want, you boys will get a heads up in the morning. He probably won't like where the help is going to come from, but damit Sam I think you're running out of options." Sam nodded.

"We talked about options, Dean's pretty adamant that he's going to get Sam's soul back." Bobby stared at him.

"You are Sam. Don't talk about him in the third person." Sam shook his head, moved away from the wall, and stared straight into Bobby's eyes.

"I, as I am now, am not Sam." For a brief moment fear like none other snaked through Bobby. "I have memories that I can recall of Sam's life, see his life, but its surreal to me. I know that he suffered, he loved, he died, he sacrificed himself over and over for his brother, and that eventually he died to save the world. But I feel nothing for his loss or his sacrifice. I feel nothing for Dean, for the people that died that he loved, or were friends with. I feel absolutely nothing."

For the first time Bobby stared at the completely dead eyes of the man he once thought of like a son, and cringed knowing that Dean had to live with this version of his brother. Inside Sam was nothing, and it made Bobby want to wail with grief and anger. Shaking, he pointed his finger at Sam.

"You ARE SAM. You may not feel anything, but you are HIM. Once you get your soul back .. " Bobby started but Sam stopped him, shaking his head.

"What if I don't want it back?" That brought Bobby up short.

"What the hell do you mean?" he asked a confused look on his face.

"Emotional pain, suffering, all his anger and disappointment with himself, what if I don't want my soul back and I want to stay just as I am. What about what's easier for me? You want me to get my soul back because you want me to be Sam, Sammy, the freak that no one really was close too except Dean. Not even you, really. There's so many things about him that you don't know about. Things he's hidden from everyone, even Dean." Sam turned and pointed at Dean, looking back at Bobby over his shoulder.

"Dean wants my soul back, but he always wanted to fix Sam, protect him, save him. What if there's nothing left to save except me? Dean's already decided I'm unworthy of saving, he'd rather kill me than live with me this way. So why get my soul back, why not just let me walk out of here?" Dean, having heard most of his conversation with Bobby, sat up on the bed.

"Because of our choices Sam. We already talked about this, in the car on the way here. I'm your moral compass, Yin to your Yang, now shut the fuck up and let me sleep will ya? 'Cause if I have to hear one more fucking word about you not wanting your soul back I'm gonna lock you in that damn panic room till hell becomes a Hilton Hotel somewhere tropical to unthaw his evil ass." He said rubbing sleepily at his eyes. Sam threw his hands up in the air and shook his head. Dean shot him a glare.

"Go stand in a corner and peel paint, look up porn," he pointed at him, "login using your name though dude, I don't want any demon bitches yanking my chain. Just shut the hell up and let me get at least a few hours peace, will ya?" he punched his pillow a few times and was snoring before his head hit the pillow. Bobby and Sam looked at each other for a second then Sam shrugged his shoulders.

"Ok, get the soul back. Woof, Woof." he sniped and went to his duffel and drug out the laptop.

"Seriously, you don't want to lie down and at least rest?" Sam shook his head.

"Nope, I don't need it. I don't sleep and I don't need "rest"." he said, using his fingers as quotation marks. Bobby sighed and rubbed his face with his hand.

"I'm seeing a whole new definition of fucked up with you two. I'm going to bed, the fun starts in the morning." He walked upstairs to his room and slammed the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next morning Dean woke up to the smell of coffee, eggs, and bacon. Either Sam made himself at home in the kitchen, which he doubted, or Bobby was fixing to really lay it on thick with whoever he had called in to help. Dean sighed, sat up, and kicked his duffel bag out from under the bag with his foot. Rummaging through it, he found a clean shirt, underwear, and his shaving kit and headed towards the bathroom. When he came out Sam was in the hallway leaning against the door jam with a cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. He looked up from what he was reading and nodded.

"Coffee's good." he grunted and looked back at the paper. Dean nodded.

"Food?" Dean questioned. Sam shrugged.

"Depends on how strong your stomach is. There's hot sauce and salsa to help on the table."

"Shut yer pie holes and sit down to something other than gut wagon chow. I've something to say to both of you." Came Bobby's disgruntled voice from the kitchen.

Dean edged around Sam's large body, who held his arms up so Dean could pass, and sat at the table. Sam folded his long legs under the table, but didn't make a grab for any of the food. Bobby's cooking skills were much like his fathers, if it wasn't black it was edible, and hot sauce or salsa always made it palatable. Dean smiled and dug in, memories of the few times his Dad made breakfast for him rambling around in his head. He glanced at Sam, his nose in the paper, making faces each time he sipped his coffee.

Would Sam have laughed, thinking the same thing? No, Dean doubted that Sam would have remembered a morning where Dad had cooked them breakfast. He sighed. Sam glanced over at him and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Ok, so what gives?" Sam smirked and looked at Bobby, who was in the process of shoveling in a mouthful of hot sauce soaked eggs. He paused, mumbled something, and resumed eating. Dean nearly dropped his fork, eyes bulging, appetite gone.

"I'm sorry, I thought you just said warlock." Sam snorted and shuffled in his chair, snapping the paper back up. Dean glared at him, then back to Bobby.

"Oh you have fucking got to be kidding me! He needs to get his soul BACK not get it eaten by some fluid spewing, demon bitch from hell Bobby. C'mon!" Dean sat back in his chair with a disgusted look on his face. Bobby looked at Dean calmly, continuing to eat.

"Unreal, you are unfreakin' real. You mean to tell me that you asked a warlock ... how the hell do you even KNOW a warlock for that matter ... to help get my brother's soul back? For fuck's sake it'll eat it before we even get our damn hands on it!" Bobby sighed.

"Boy, do you really think I'm that stupid? You think I just hopped off the noob hunter's wagon? SHE, not IT, is the most powerful warlock I know. And who else, other than Cas, who is NOT here by the way, would you suggest? Warlocks know all about souls, so I figured it was worth a try to call and see if she'd even give me a call back. She did, she's offered to help, and on her way here. And before you spout your mouth off to me one more time, let me remind you that there is NO WAY Crowley has Sam's soul and NO WAY that bagging one simple alpha will get it back even if he DID have it which I am not convinced that he does." Bobby shoved his chair back and tossed the remains of breakfast in the garbage can. He tossed his dishes in the sink, turned back to Dean, and leaned against the cabinet.

"So the way I see it you have one of two choices, live with Ice Man here, or see what she can do to help out." Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Dean. Dean rubbed his face and fixed Sam with a glare, shaking his head.

"You," he said pointing his finger at Sam, "had damn well better appreciate this." He went back to eating his breakfast and Sam went back to reading the paper. A few minutes later Sam put the paper down and regarded Dean with a serious look.

"What?" Dean asked through a mouth full of eggs, bacon, and toast, some of which was falling all over the table. Sam shook his head and got up to walk outside on the porch.

"Bobby! So when is Mary Poppins showing up anyway?" Dean yelled from the kitchen.

"Midnight," he yelled back from his study, "so find something to occupy your hyperactive obnoxious ass and let me get back to work! Sam!" Sam walked back in to the house and into Bobby's study.

"Yeah?" he said. Bobby motioned to his laptop.

"Put your brain to good use and start researching the list over there on that pile of books for me." Sam picked up the list and looked at it.

Bobby didn't just help out him and Dean on cases. Bobby was a one man Hunter go-to hotline. He had information on damn near everything a hunter hunted, including how to kill it. He also operated different phone lines depending on what situation the hunter was caught in. If you got into a spot where someone needed to verify your badge, the number on the card read a line that rang in Bobby's home. And his phones rang constantly and at all hours of the night. Bobby only worried about the times that the phones didn't ring. Alot of people depended on Bobby and the research he'd handed Sam was part of what he did for the hunting community.

Dean grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door, glancing back as Sam began looking up whatever monster was on the top of the to do list. Bobby was already on the phone talking to some other hunter and quietly stepped out the front door. He walked over to the Impala and smiled.

"It's just me and you baby." He rubbed his hands together, an eager look in eyes, and dug his keys out of his pocket. "First I'm going to crawl all over you, put my hands in all your naughty places, then I'm going oil you up, grease you down, and rub you all over like only I know how." He slid behind the wheel and turned on some music. Sweet Home Alabama thrummed through the cars speakers and Dean sighed happily. "Oh yeah, baby, Daddy's gonna take all day, slow and easy." he chuckled to himself as he rolled the windows down and started to work on the car.

**** More on the way - smaller chapters to the story goes a bit faster - if you think this doesn't work well let me know and I'll change it up a bit - Please review!****


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Midnight it seems was crawling towards them slowly. Dean had spent the entire day working on the Impala, cleaning it inside and out, complete tune up, changed the oil and spark plugs, cleaned the carburetor, and tweaked the timing as best he could without completely tearing the whole engine down. He'd made a run into town for some braided hose, beer, and tacos, finished underneath the car, then waxed the outside to a pristine shine, and sat down on the porch listening to music and just enjoying the day. It had been nice to just relax and let his worries, his burdens, sit somewhere else other than his shoulders. But now, at 11:30pm they were back in place and giving him hell. He'd been pacing a rut in the floor since about 10:00pm and knew that Bobby was about ready to lock him in the panic room.

"Damit Dean calm down, you're like a cat on a hot tin roof and making me nervous too!" Bobby yelled.

He already did a double check of the house, made sure that they had plenty of ammo handy, guns ready, knives hidden in handy places, and all manner of things set in strategic spots incase this went bad. What they didn't need was a mistake. This could either be their super bowl moment Hail Mary play of the year or the most stupid screw up they'll never live to regret. Either way it was going to be one hell of a night.

Neither of the hunter's had seen headlights pull up to the house, but a knock on the door signaled their guest had arrived. Bobby headed to the door leaving Sam and Dean to wait in the study where Sam had still been sitting at his laptop doing research for Bobby's cases. Sam shut the screen down on and looked over towards Dean who shot him a look before he rose from his seat at the sound of footsteps.

"Hello, Bobby. Nice to hear from you again." A velvety, feminine voice said from the hallway. Bobby cleared his throat and escorted her into this study.

"Thanks for coming Annika; I wasn't sure you would agree."

"Well, after our last encounter I said you would need my help one day. It appears as if that day has come."

She wasn't quite what Dean had expected. He figured she would either look like a typical housewife, or be mousey looking, or wicked witch of the west ugly. He had even pictured her being Morticia Adams freaky with some black cat on one arm and a broom in the other. Instead she was small, very petite, dressed in faded cut up jeans that hugged a very delicious round bottom, which Sam was eyeing in a way that almost made Dean twitch. She had long wavy black hair with streaks of white throughout, that framed softly tanned pixie like features, and full lush pouty lips. Her eyes were shockingly sea foam green, almost iridescent. She wore flip flop's for shoes, bangles on her wrist, and power wrapped around her like a cloak.

"So, "she said spinning to look at Dean first then her eyes finaly resting on Sam, "you must the emotionally challenged brother whose soul is currently MIA." She walked around each brother and gave them the once over, not bothering to cover her appreciation of either one of them. She winked at Bobby and sighed dramatically. Slowly she raised Dean's shirt and nudged the gun.

"These don't work well around me sweet heart." She said, coming up close to his back she leaned in to whisper in his ear. The gun suddenly started burning hot against his skin and he jumped away tossing it to the floor.

She laughed and walked around the room, fingering through some of Bobby's work on his desk. Bobby immediately went to his journal and snapped it shut, cutting her a sidelong look then reached to turn off the screen to his computer monitor, which she had been studying with curiosity. She chuckled again and leaned a hip on his desk.

"Well, I can tell you without a doubt that Crowley definitely does not have your soul. He does know where it's at, though that does him no good as he obviously does NOT want to go anywhere near Lucifer or Michael." She picked up a book of druidic incantations on Bobby's desk and began flipping through it.

"Wonderful. I was hoping for better news, but why change our luck now." Dean narrowed his eyes at her. "Is there anything that you can do to help us?" She smiled softly and pointed to the book.

"Good stuff, I could show you pointers though, some of their symbols are slightly off." She glanced at Dean, more serious now, and nodded. "I wouldn't have traveled all this way if I didn't think I could help Sam." Again looking at Bobby she said, "These symbols are archaic and were improved upon decades ago, did you know that?" Bobby shook his head.

"No, thanks for the update Webster. What about Sam's soul?" he said, taking the book from her. She huffed and looked over at the youngest Winchester.

"First things first. He needs to decide if he wants it back. If he's not metaphysically ready to receive his soul back then his body will reject it. And he's got "back off" written all over his handsome face." Sam stood in the middle of the room, rock still, arms folded over his chest. Dean looked at him and sighed.

"Dude, seriously, you want to be like this for the rest of your life? I mean I know we had more of a "Dexter" childhood than a "That 70's Show" but damn, you really think you're better off without your soul?" He looked at Sam square in the eyes, less angry and more confused. Sam just stared at him.

"Sam, how long were you in the prison with Lucifer before you were yanked out?" Annika asked him and Sam shrugged.

"I don't know, what difference does it make?" Sam drug his eyes from Dean to Annika. She stared at him, a slight frown on her face.

"Do you remember hell Sam?" Sam's face froze, briefly, then he shuffled his feet. Dean tensed.

"Look .. " Annika raised her hand.

"Interesting. So you don't sleep either right?" Sam nodded.

"Ever thought about meditation while you twiddle your thumbs at night?" She asked.

"No, I usually research cases, read the news papers, pin point the next job, that sort of thing. If I'm not doing that I'll work out, clean my weapons, just normal things." Annika snorted and glanced at Bobby who shrugged.

"What can I say, they were raised right." She nodded.

"Sure, if you're a member of the Manson family." she sighed.

"Ok, here's the deal," she said, "before you can take in a soul you have to be ready to receive one. Being that you have no emotions, I'm just going to go on theory that it will still work the same way. And that way is to be metaphysically in shape to receive it and for you to be honest with me. Which I feel was an issue way before you lost your mojo to begin with and definitely not something that you're going to willingly do now." Dean walked out of the room and retrieved beer's for everyone. They all found places to sit except Sam who reclined against the wall regarding Annika with a hooded look.

"I feel that all you are right now is a metaphysical shadow of Sam's inner "id and ego". Your Id and your ego are driving your bodies responses right now. Your ego is driving your psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, and defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory. While your Id is where you get your basic instincts like the need for food, water, and sex. None of these actually requires any feelings on your part since the soul provides the emotions to appreciate your environment around you, and the people in your social circle." Dean and Bobby looked at her with mouths open. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"To dumb it down, for the more intellectually challenged in the room, you're a walking, talking, breathing, human shell, that's been trained to kill. That's rather frightening for the straights isn't it Sam?" He sighed.

"So what do I have to do to get my soul back?" She smiled.

"Imagine there are three doors in front of you. Door number one is wide open, door number two is on a slight incline and is locked, and door number three is at the top of sheer cliff, chained and bolted and made of stone and will be impossibly hard to open." Sam nodded, Dean nodded off, his head in his hand and beer bottle dangling between loose fingers. Bobby sat in his usual chair behind his computer, snoring slightly. Annika cast a miffed glance at them both before she stood up and walked towards Sam, hips sashaying slightly. Sam's eyes widened as she neared, and he gripped his bottle tightly.

"Those doors resemble your choices that you need to make and the journey it will take to get you there. If you have the courage to that is. You see door number one, it's the easiest route, it signifies death. Door number two is slightly harder and it signifies a refusal to accept your soul back and remaining as you are now. Door number three is the hardest route, where you travel a hard road to get your soul back. It means confronting the things that are hidden. Things about yourself that you keep buried so far down ... " her eyes virtually glowed now, almost mesmerizing Sam with their intensity.

"When passion is no longer there Sam, what do you fall back on?" she asked him, so close that Sam couldn't breathe in without smelling her alluring scent. Need nearly had him rocking back on his heels and carrying her fireman style to the nearest cave.

"I don't know." he whispered. She chuckled, eyes narrowing.

"Oh yes you do." She reached a hand out and ran it up under his shirt, her nails grazing the skin of his stomach. Sam felt a white hot sensation and his stomach clenched. He tossed his head back, stifling a moan, as his mind tried so hard to distinguish pain from pleasure that he simply couldn't feel. He made a grab for her wrist, fully intent on dragging her upstairs, an intense look of sexual heat in his eyes, but she danced quickly away from him. He started to make a move for her but Dean's beer bottle dropped to the floor, which woke both Dean and Bobby up. Dean cast a strange look at Sam.

"What's going on? What did I miss?" he asked.

"Nothing." Sam turned and left the room, heading towards the bathroom. Dean looked curiously at Annika who smiled crookedly at him and winked.

"First lesson in being honest with me, give him a minute and he'll be fine." Dean frowned. Sam walked back into the room, face a bit wet, but otherwise he appeared to be ok.

"I'm heading off to bed, I have a hunt tomorrow, rugaru not far from here to deal with." Bobby stood up and began walking upstairs. Dean nodded.

"I'm going along to help him out so I'm getting some shut eye as well." He cast a look at both Annika and Sam.

"You two playing nice or do I need to stay up with you to babysit." Sam shot him a glare and Dean held his hands up in the air.

"Fine 'm goin' to bed dude. Yell if she tries to eat you." Dean frowned at the funny look on Sam's face and glanced back at Annika who had her back turned, but he could swear she was laughing. As he neared the top of the stairs, he turned back.

"Hey Sam, can you c'mere for a sec?" Sam walked up the stairs.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Dude, are you mackin' on Morticia down there?" Sam sighed and looked at Dean.

"No, of course not, dude ... " he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Dean's eyes nearly popped out.

"Oh my freakin' god you are!" Sam turned back to Dean.

"Seriously go to bed Dean." Dean shook his head.

"Man, you are seriously fucked up did you know that? A were-wolf, a demon, and now a damn soul eating warlock? I don't even know if they make condom's to ward off the skeezy shit you'd get from her ... "Sam frowned at him.

"Your radar is a bit off Sam so here's some advice. The powers that be make 'em hot to lure you in, then bam, they eat you, spit out your bones, and use the bones to summon more bad things. Jog a memory? Maybe two?" Dean asked in a low, frustrated whisper.

"Dean, you're an asshole. Go to bed." Sam walked back down the stairs.

"Sam ... get back here!" Sam turned back, walked up the stairs to Dean again, leaned in and whispered quietly in his ear "Maybe I want to get eaten tonight Dean?" Sam leaned back to make sure it hit home with Dean, then leaned in to whisper one more thing, "She's hot, I like hot, and I don't have soul for her to eat, can you blame me?" he stepped back and looked questioningly at Dean. Dean took one more look at Annika, who was looking up at them with a wicked smile on her face.

"Nope, not one bit, but dude, if you make jungle noises I may puke in your duffel bag." Sam shrugged.

"Fine, Impala's unlocked right?" Dean's eyes bugged and he nearly choked.

"Don't you even think of defiling the backseat of my baby!" Sam chuckled dryly.

"I can't count how many times that backseat has been defiled Dean, but don't worry, nothing's going to happen anyway. I have questions that need an answer, we're only going to talk."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

*** Mature Scene Ahead ***

"We need to talk." Sam said as he heard the door upstairs to Dean's room shut. Annika smiled, watching him stalk towards her like a hunter who knew he had his prey cornered.

"I wasn't aware that talking was what you had in mind. But if it's a new code word for take me back to the cave and ravish me all night long I have no problem updating my mental linguistic library." He stopped in front of her, so close they were almost touching. He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side, immediately going over the list of rooms in the house that would allow them privacy so Dean and Bobby didn't have to hear their "jungle noises".

Annika laughed softly.

"Magic, Samuel Winchester, has it uses in more ways than just the demonic." She rose up on her tippy toes, laid a hand on his chest, and kissed him. He leaned down to receive her lips like a starving man for water, his hands moving to pull her against him, and closed his eyes willing himself to remember the pleasure that kissing had once given him.

When Sam opened his eyes again they were in a bedroom, and it definitely was not one in Bobby's house. The room was lavishly decorated with antiques, hardwood floors gleaming in firelight, and a large curtained four-poster bed tempted him from the far wall. He looked down at Annika.

"Where are we?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Do you care?" he shook his head.

"Not one damn bit." he pulled his shirt off and picked Annika up and carried her to the bed. She looked at him for a moment and smiled a somewhat ironic smile at him.

"You're going to hate me for this one day you know that?" Sam undid his belt and began taking his jeans off.

"Don't care." He angled a look at her. "If you value your clothes, I'd start taking them off because they won't last long." She smiled wickedly and received a similar look from Sam. "Did I mention that I don't sleep?" She swept a slightly glowing hand over her body and was left with nothing but her smile on.

"Did I mention that I'm nocturnal at heart Sam?"

Hours later, the sun had risen and cast a soft glow over the room. Sam's back was up against the head board of the bed, and between his legs lay Annika, who had curled up around his waist and was sleeping softly, her warm breath feathering Sam's naked hip. Absently he ran his fingers through her silky hair, her comments running through his mind.

_"You're going to hate me for this one day, you know that?" _

Sam was confused. He didn't want to hate Annika. But he knew that the old Sam, the one everyone wanted back, would. The old Sam had buried many things along time ago. The dwindling relationship with Jessica being the oldest and most painful memory he could recall. Their relationship had started out wonderful, flowered into a romantic love, then soured, at least on his part, a few months into it. Sam's most horrific memory of himself, one that he must have felt deep humiliation over, was his inability to differentiate between pain and pleasure. And it was something that Lucifer had used against him in the pit. Probably still was, though Sam wasn't sure how much torture you could do physically to a soul that no longer had a host.

The one time he had tried to bring his addiction to the light with Jessica she had looked at him like he was a freak and he'd laughed it off like a kinky joke. It had never been brought back up until Madison, the were-wolf, who hadn't noticed that he'd been a little bit rough. Then of course, there had been Ruby who had added yet another addiction to Sam's long list of things that he kept buried deep in his psyche. Now, Samwithoutasoul Sam, was left to wonder why he would want to get his soul back if this way he could be what he wanted to be, do the things that he wanted to do, like last night with Annika. It didn't embarrass or humiliate him for Annika to know that for him to get got off sometimes he needed pain. She just knew it, she had traced scorching lines all over his body, almost like symbols, and the more it hurt the more he had FELT.

However, that was the inherent problem. He wanted to feel. He could access memories of Sam's where he had felt certain things but he couldn't access the emotions. He knew to laugh at jokes but he didn't feel the laughter. He knew the right places to touch Annika, but he didn't feel the pleasure. He only felt the pain, which was enough to send him over the edge of sanity, many times over last night. Annika stirred on top him, his body's reaction evident, her breath hot, and her hand moving to curl into a fist in the small of his back as she pushed up in to a sitting position between his legs. She drew the sheet around her and clutched it to her chest as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes. He drew his feet together so that his legs surrounded her and put his arms behind his head.

"Morning tiger." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I figured that would be my line." She smiled sexily at him and winked.

"So, last night, metaphysically, we did something that Sam wouldn't have done." Annika nodded.

"I passed your test then?" he raised an eyebrow. She smiled.

"I suppose so you could say that." he nodded.

"And that's all it was about then?" she looked away, he nudged her with his foot, and she looked back at him.

"No, maybe not, but it helped in several ways. It did show you that you do want your soul back." Sam nodded.

"It also added something more though." He slid his arms from behind his head and wrapped them around her, pulling her up into his lap. She dropped the sheet and titled her head, sliding her arms around his neck.

"It added one more addiction to Sam's list." He trailed a line of fiery kisses down her neck, as she let her head fall back and Sam twisted his hands in her hair holding her in place.

"Maybe added one to my list as well Sam." She whispered quietly.

Meanwhile, Dean lay in his room thinking over his conversation with Sam the night before. He'd woken up to find Sam and Annika gone. It was almost time for him and Bobby to get on the road to hunt the rugaru and he was having mixed feelings about leaving the two of them alone. Annika was, for all intent and purposes, a perfect blend of exactly what Sam needed. Dean just didn't know if he could get past the warlock part though. What in the world was it about his little brother and the right kind of wrong chic's he always seemed to pick up.

"Hey sleeping beauty, this things not gonna wait for us, get the lead out and let's get moving!" Bobby shouted as he hurried past Dean's door.

"Yea, I'm coming!" he shouted back and rose up and got dressed. As he headed down stairs, he mentally noted that he needed to talk to Sam about the kind of girls you brought home to Mom and the kind you brought home to Dad to gank, as he stuffed his guns and knives into his duffel bag and ran down stairs with Bobby.

"You seen Sam or Annika?" Bobby asked.

"Nope. Should we be worried?" Dean asked.

"I don't know maybe, then again maybe they're off doing some metaphysical shit or something. Might be a wise idea to call him."

"Already tried that. His phone is over their by his laptop. Do you trust her or should we start looking for them." Bobby sighed.

"Car's still here. If the they took off on foot then they won't have gone far. Damit he should know better than to do something stupid like this."

Annika rolled over and looked at the time. Stretching, she sat up and ran her hand down the length of Sam's back. He was laying on his stomach, eyes wide open, listening to music on his Ipod. The symbols on Sam's back were fading fast, something he didn't know about right now, and Annika whispered a soft enchant to cover them so Sam wouldn't find them later. If he stuck with the idea of getting his soul back he would need them, but they were not something she wanted to have to explain right now. He took the earphones out and rolled over.

"We need to get back. Dean and Bobby should be leaving on their hunt and will be wondering where we've gotten off to." She said.

"How do you actually plan on getting my soul back Annika?" he asked as he rose from the bed and collected his clothes from the floor.

"As I said, once you decide that you want your soul back," she cut her eyes over to Sam, lingering for a moment to appreciate his body," really want it back, then we'll work on that part." Sam looked at her as he buttoned his jeans.

"Ok, I do want it back. Now what?" he asked as he slid his shirt over his head.

She chuckled.

"So it's that easy for you to want it back? You realize the full scope of what will come crashing around you? The memories of hell that you don't want to acknowledge?" Sam looked at her.

"It's not that I don't want to acknowledge them, it's that they don't matter to me." She nodded her head.

"Ok, then tell me what happened. Better yet, tell Dean." Sam stared at her. She walked over to him and put her hand on his chest.

"Sam, telling your brother about your experience in hell, helps you bring it to the front. What you keep buried, festers, even now with you as you are now. Bringing it out in to the open allows you to deal with the experience. Because once you get your soul back, it has the potential to rip your mind, fragment it, and in essence, destroy you." Sam looked at her for a moment and nodded.

"So, then if I tell Dean I can get my soul back after that?" he asked. She frowned.

"Ahhh ... you've been double crossed by a demon and you think that I can't help you get your soul back is that it?" he nodded.

"Something like that. Ruby was supposed to have originally helped me keep Dean from going to hell but she lied to me. Tricked me. She couldn't really stop it, no one could."

"Hmmmm ... " She teleported her and Sam back to Bobby's, on the front porch, right as Dean opened the door.

"Whoa!" Dean's eyes snapped with irritation.

"Hey, ever thought of a note or something?" Sam frowned down at Dean.

"We were just discussing getting my soul back Dean."

"Really, because you look like you just crawled out of bed Sam." he replied angrily. Sam shrugged.

"That too." Dean shook his head. Bobby came up behind Dean and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, never mind this. I'm going to put down this monster, why don't you stay and hash this out." Bobby walked around Dean and down the steps.

"And no bloodletting in my house. If it comes to that, take it outside!" he yelled, then got in his truck and drove off leaving Dean standing on the porch glaring at Sam and Annika.

***** I think I should state that some of you may feel that I rushed Sam and Annika's "relationship". I did want to drag it out but to do that I would have to drag out Sam getting his soul back and I didn't want to do that. If you haven't seen the new promo posters (serpent coiled on Sam's arm and the caption that reads "All Evil Will See the Light") and advertisement (Dean glowing all creepy and heavenly while looking down at Sam who is all evil and standing in flames) then you should because none of this will make sense till you do. *****


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sam had gone immediately to the shower right after they had teleported back to Bobby's. Dean took that time to walk into the house behind Annika who knew what was fixing to happen by the angry glares she kept getting from Dean. Sam glanced at her and his brother once before heading upstairs to his duffel bag and slamming the bathroom door.

"Ok, the freaky needs to stop here and I need to know exactly what your game is," Dean looked directly into Annika's eyes and aimed his shotgun at her heart. She smirked at him.

"Or?" she stated.

"Or I'm going take this gun and shoot you point blank in that blackened shriveled heart of yours." She laughed.

"Wow and all before I've had my last supper Dean?" She shook her head at him.

"You see that would be a bad idea, and not because Bobby said no blood in the house either. Sam will need a guide, someone strong enough to hold him together, with a connection to him, and you don't have the juice for that. Moreover, your angel friend already made the statement that he's crushin' on you and not so much on little Sammy. So, it looks like you're stuck with Morticia instead of Castiel's "feathery ass", Barbarella." Dean glared at her.

"Then start talking, before Sam gets back down here." Annika smiled, turned, and walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, then sat down at the table. Dean rested his shotgun against the wall, and sat down at the table opposite Annika.

"Spill it." He stated as he leaned back and made a wide gesture with his arms.

"It's like this, if he truly wants his soul back Dean," she looked seriously at him," and he really has to WANT his soul back, then he will need to bring certain things to the forefront to prepare himself. The fear and pain of his life, the torture in hell, all his dirty little secrets, it will all be used against him. Right now, relationships are being twisted; nightmares resurfacing, all in an effort to keep Sam's soul separate, alone, and weak. Michael is doing his best but it isn't enough. Lucifer is torturing Michael, trying to wear him down, bring him over to his side to make himself stronger in order to break out of the cage himself. My mission is not only to get Sam's soul back, but also to get Michael out of the pit." Dean's eyes were wide as he looked at her.

"Who gave you this mission?" Annika smirked.

"You truly think that God plays favorites with just humans? He had a plan, starting the second Lucifer fell from grace." Dean snorted.

"And warlocks were part of that plan? You're all evil!" Dean yelled angrily at her.

"Oh Dean, who said I was a warlock?" she softly whispered in a deadly tone.

Dean looked into her eyes and was frozen in place. They began churning, like a stormy sea, and then as if a dam broke, her eye sockets were full of eerie green fire that leaked out the corners of eyes. Green fire snaked up from her feet to curl around her arms and small tendrils of hair.

"What the fuck are you Annika?" he asked.

"I am THE Alpha Dean. I am magic personified. The weapons from heaven? I created them. The spells you use to exorcise demons? I created those. Lucifer's cage? I built it. Hell? Me. Purgatory? Me. Tartarus? Me again. I am the balance that makes life flow. I am the gatekeeper for heaven and the jailer for hell. I am magic and I maintain magic. I am neither evil nor am I good, I am balanced, and when the balance of the world is thrown off, as it has been now, I make it right." She sat back and the green glow disappeared. Dean shook his head.

"Why help us? Why help Sam? What's the catch that you aren't telling me?" Dean asked, his voice shaking a bit. "And why doesn't Cas know about you?" Annika smiled and it made Dean cringe.

"Castiel knows more than he's telling you. He has no idea what is coming but he knows something is coming. His hands are tied on what to do; save his pet human, or save heaven. Right now, he's choosing heaven because he thinks that it is the only thing that will help you. He's wrong. And as for why I'm helping you, simple. I have a covenant with heaven. I am limited on certain things that I can do because of the power I was given when I was created. Therefore, I must pass some of that power on to someone of my choosing. But, much like angelic vessels, I must have permission, a deal of sorts, in order to pass on my power." Dean's eyes widened.

"Fuck you and get the hell out. No one is riding me and Sam .. NOT THAT EVER AGAIN!" he jumped up out of his seat, the chair flying across the room, and yelled at Annika. She took it calmly and when Dean was against the wall panting, hands flung out as if to ward off some force, she simply sipped her coffee and chuckled.

"Don't be an ass Dean. I don't "ride" vessels. I don't _need_ vessels at all. My magic will not alter you in anyway. It's a job, that goes hand in hand with hunting and is very simple. You will take on the power of Judgment, giving a second chance to demons at a life on earth. A chance to atone for the sins they committed and make it right. God's Judgment. Sam will take on God's Wrath. If you judge a demon and find it unsuitable for a second chance then Sam will use his Wrath and execute it, immediately, on the spot. I take it Purgatory where it will remain for all eternity. It's perfect actually. You've already changed some aspects of your life to accommodate the power. Lisa and Ben helped you with that." Dean jerked his head cocked to the side and pointed a finger at her.

"Wait a second, you leave Lisa and Ben out of this or so help me ... " she laughed and rose from her chair.

"You'll do what? Shoot me? Stick me with a knife? I've been fighting creatures more powerful than you before your species first crawled onto land you plebeian waste of space. I can utter one word in three thousand different languages that will kill where you stand. In two words I can turn you inside out, keeping you alive the entire time to feel every ounce of pain, I can stuff you in a box, put you in the Akashic Plains and forget you ever existed. Don't threaten me."

Annika had just wisp of fire leaking from the corner of her eyes that gave away how angry he'd made her. She looked at him for a long moment, noting the sweat beading on his forehead and the shake of his hands and the way his eyes constantly cut towards the outer room wondering if Sam was going to walk in, wondering how he was going to keep his brother safe. She sighed heavily.

"I am not your enemy Dean. Far from it. If you accept my offer, there are benefits. I would work with you and Sam on the details. You have always wondered where your mother and father are right? I have them, in purgatory. Agree, and I pass them on to heaven. You want Lisa and Ben? Safe that is, so you can have a life with them? Done. With Judgment and Wrath walking the earth your job of hunting is going to be harder than ever. Monsters and demon and their ilk will be hiding far from you or anyone that you know. And with my power you will be able to teleport instantly if need be. So much of your life will be simple and some of it complicated. But either way you go about it, all evil will see the light, your light Dean, and if you find it lacking Sam will purge it." Dean shook his head.

"Cas!" he yelled. Annika rolled her eyes as a rush of wings came from behind her. The zing of metal and she lunged forward, spun, and sent Castiel crashing into the wall, an invisible force holding him down.

"Hello Angel boy, how's tricks?" she looked at Dean amused, crossing her arms in a show of strength, letting Dean know just how effortlessly she was holding an archangel down.

"Annika, this is against your covenant." Cas gasped out, a look of pure death in his eyes.

"Oh no its not. You attacked first, sweet heart, and the covenant states that though I can't draw first, I can draw first blood." She looked up at Cas and said, "Now, are you ready to play nice with all the kids in the sandbox or do I need to send you home?"

"Put me down." She gently lowered Cas back to the floor. He straightened his trench coat and looked at Dean.

"I'm sure you aware of what is going on?" Dean nodded.

"Yeah I just caught the skinny no thanks to you." Cas nodded, then caught the look that Dean gave him, and sighed.

"You are angry that I didn't tell you everything but until this moment I did not realize who she was. Her display of power alerted me to what was going on. I promise you I had no idea that this was in God's plan."

"What plan?" Sam asked, stepping into the kitchen looking confused, nodding his head in acknowledgement of Cas. Cas nodded back.

"The plan Father had before he left, after you and Dean stopped the Apocalypse. He knew that the world would need to be cleaned up and repaired and apparently, he had a plan to accomplish that. Annika is that plan." She smiled.

"Plan 'B' so to speak took effect once you won the battle. Unfortunately, now you have to win the War of Souls. And the one who saves the most, wins the prize." Sam looked at her.

"What prize?" he asked. Annika shrugged.

"Cookies Sam, lots of cookies." Her sarcasm rolled right over Sam's head. He shrugged and looked at Dean.

"Bobby's going to be pissed." Dean looked questioningly at Sam, who pointed down on the floor.

"You're bleeding in his house." Dean rolled his eyes and sighed.

Authors Note:

In classic mythology, below Uranus, Gaia, and Pontus is **Tartarus**, or **Tartaros** (Greek Τάρταρος, _deep place_). It is a deep, gloomy place, a pit, or an abyss used as a dungeon of torment and suffering that resides **beneath the ****underworld**. In the _Gorgias_, Plato (c. 400 BC) wrote that souls were judged after death and those who received punishments were sent to Tartarus.

**Like other primal entities (such as the earth and time), Tartarus is also a primordial force or deity (**_this is what Annika is_**).**

I love Greek mythology so I'm sure you are seeing some of it seeping into my story here and I am double checking my facts as best as I can. If you find any points in it that are incorrect, please don't hesitate to let me know so that I may change them. This will likely be my last update till after the Thanksgiving Holiday, but that will give me enough time to work slowly on the next couple of chapters.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for reading and please don't forget to review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Dean sat alone on the porch of Bobby's house sipping whiskey from the bottle, Clutches "Electric Worry" strumming happily from the speakers of the Impala, and thinking back on his conversation with Annika. Castiel stood at the bottom of the steps, doing his best celestial radar pose as he listened in to the goings on of the world. Dean sighed heavily. He had never expected things to get so complicated but hell, why expect anything to go his way anymore. Once, Cas's presence would have been comforting, but with the changes in Cas and the change in Sam, Dean was once again lost in a cold world and alone. He thought of Lisa, and how she and Ben must hate him and that left a bad taste in his mouth.

"You are wrong you know." Cas turned to fix Dean with his flat angel stare. Dean shook his head and took another sip.

"Really, you listening in on my thoughts now Cas?" Cas nodded his head.

"Yes, I am. And they are incorrect. You are not alone in this world and Lisa and Ben do not hate you. I am still your friend Dean. I just have other responsibilities now." Dean laughed.

"You know Cas, who would have thought that things would get this bad?" Dean responded sadly. Cas sighed, sat down beside Dean and grabbed the whiskey bottle from his hands. He passed his hand over it and suddenly it was full again. Dean raised his eyebrows, and the angel just shrugged at him.

"I figured you'd appreciate whiskey more than wine right?" He took a sip and handed the bottle back to Dean.

"Dean, how many humans do you think can say that an Angel of the Lord is so in tune to them that all they have to do is say the angels name and he appears," he cut Dean a bland glare," WHEN he has time?" Dean looked at Cas and grinned crookedly at him.

"So, you are crushin' on me then?" Castiel rolled his eyes.

"I do not view you as sexually appealing Dean. However, I do have a special connection to you. You have been more a brother to me than any of the other's. I have learned a lot from watching you and Sam interact with each other, and I have learned a lot about humans and why Father finds them so special. Your race is incredible in their capabilities of forgiveness, love, and self sacrifice. I ENJOY your friendship and regret that I cannot be here for you and Sam as I was before. But Heaven and Earth both need our help Dean." Dean nodded and looked at Cas.

"So, about that, what do you think about Annika and what she's proposed. And are my Mom and Dad really in purgatory? And maybe even Deanna? Are those the reasons that Samuel is searching for purgatory and working for Crowley?"

"Yes, to all your questions. Your mother and father are definitely in purgatory and so is Deanna, Samuel Campbell's wife. He simply wanted to get them out, and he was always ruthless in going after evil, though he is not evil himself. Despite what you see of him now." Dean looked sideways at Cas.

"What about Annika?" Cas sighed, stood, and began pacing the ground at the bottom of the steps.

"Annika is another story altogether Dean. She is truly every bit what she stated and then some. Very powerful, more powerful and than I am or another that I know. This is why Father immediately placed a covenant on her."

"But why create someone so powerful?" Dean asked. Cas looked at Dean for a moment and sat back down beside him.

"I would tell you that He works in mysterious ways but I know how angry that would make you. What I will tell you is that all things spring from Him. Father is, how should I say," Cas looks up at the sky for a moment then back to Dean, "primordial." Dean looked at Cas confused.

"Sounds like something Dad always told me to not to scratch. What the hell does primordial mean?"

"Primordial Deities existed before the earth. I cannot explain anything else to you, but you have met others. War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death ..." Dean's eyes widened and Cas nodded, "Yes, they are one and the same. Annika springs from the same essence as the Four Horsemen."

"Holy Shh ... crap, that's got me even more freaked out. Does she have a ring?" Cas nodded.

"The jewelry that adorns her forearms, wrists, and ankles are much like the rings used by the horsemen. Unlike the rings though, her's are part of the covenant with Heaven. They serve to remind her that if she breaks her contract, she is immediately confined to Tartarus for eternity. She will not break the rules."

"I've never heard of Tartarus or Akashic Plains, what are those places?" Cas's faced screwed into a tight mask revulsion.

"A place all beings fear. Annika rules the Akashic Plains, and if you think Hell was bad, you never want to go there. It is a place of nothingness, a place where magical powers do not exist, and where its inhabitants beg for the release of Hell." Dean shook his head.

"Doesn't sound so bad to me, believe me, Hell was no vacation Cas." Cas looked at Dean.

"Think of the Plains as a place where there is a constant buffet of cheeseburgers and car wax but you have no mouth, no arms, or hands, or legs, but are hungry, lonely, and the Impala is rusting." Dean's eyes widened.

"Yes, it is a place where you're fears and failings are turned against you. If you are demonic, you are stripped of your powers and tortured with holy light. If you holy you are stripped and tortured with demonic thoughts. If you are magic, you are stripped of your magic. And for someone like Annika, to strip her of her magic would be like taking her soul from her." Dean nodded and sipped his whiskey.

"Celestially speaking, you guys come up with ways to torture each other that would shock Hitler you know it?" Cas nodded.

"Hitler was actually possessed by Azazel."

"That explains a lot. So what's Tartarus?" For the first time ever Dean thought he saw a look of pure terror cross Cas' face. Stunned he turned to his friend and frowned.

"Cas?" Cas looked at Dean with a look of pure dread.

"Tartarus houses the Watchers, spirits of over two hundred Fallen Angels whom God punished with the Flood. I will tell you no more on this subject Dean other than it is a place that you do not enter and do not leave. Much like Purgatory it has many levels and is controlled by Annika who knows more than any of us how those planes work." Dean stared at him for a few seconds then took a sip of the whiskey and offered it to Cas.

"You know what gets me? Why the apocalypse? Why Michael and Lucifer and me and Sam? Why not just cut Annika loose and be done with it? Why me and Sam Cas?" Cas looked at Dean, who was sitting so defeated on the steps beside him.

"Dean do you still doubt your worth, after all that has transpired, you still doubt?" Dean stared off in the distance and shook his head.

"My so called "worthiness" has come at high price Cas if that's what you're alluding to. Sam and I have been through enough. If you want us to hunt fine we'll hunt till we die," Dean looked at Cas," but we'll die together, and I expect Sam to have his soul and be escorted straight to Heaven." Cas chuckled.

"Ash already has a spot for you and Sam "pimped out"." Dean laughed.

"I'm sure he has." Dean clapped a hand on Cas's back and stood up. Bobby's truck was pulling into the yard, he had sent a text to Dean letting him know that the kill had been quick and he was on his way about the time Dean had come to porch to wait on him. Cas stopped Dean and stared him in the eye.

"Dean, taking on Judgment and Wrath will be difficult, but otherwise I believe it will not harm you. Annika speaks the truth when she says that it will be like taking on a second job. I believe that this is your purpose, the reason for the destinies you and Sam were given. Nevertheless, I do not want to make light of her proposal. There is more to Annika's decision to pass on those certain powers to you and Sam than I know. Agree to nothing till I can uncover what her motives are." Dean nodded.

"You think she's going to go all crossroads on me and Sam?" Cas shook his head.

"I have no idea what her plans are but I do know that there are parts of the covenant that I have not been able to unlock and until I am able to do so I would not agree to any deals with her." Bobby was up on the steps by then and stopped.

"For the love of all that's Holy, what deal did you make now?" Bobby huffed, staring at Dean as if he'd lost his mind.

"No deals Bobby, I'll catch you up in a second." Bobby shook his head and walked into the house mumbling something about needing a shower and glass of something stronger than the bad taste in his mouth.

"I'm needed elsewhere Dean, I'll contact you as soon as I know more about the covenant." Before Dean could say anything else Cas disappeared in rush of wind, leaving Dean to ponder the information Cas had given him.

****A/N: Ok, here we go! I'm hoping this next chapter will start to bring all this together for you and also give you a nice surprise. I'm a bit oxygen starved right now as it's very late and I'm so tired but I just couldn't stop typing!** Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

While Dean was outside drinking whiskey and talking to Cas, Sam and Annika had been busy inside going over the conversation that she had had with Dean in the kitchen while he had been in the shower. Sam had known that Annika was powerful but finding out that she was the ultimate power Crowley was gunning for made him edgy. Part of him wanted to grill her for information, logging it away for future use, and when she offered him Wrath he almost leapt from his seat at his laptop in his eagerness to say yes. But after finishing his talk with her he had felt compelled to talk to Dean and therefore he waited for Cas to leave and walked out on to the porch.

"So, what do you make of this deal with Annika about Judgment and Wrath?" he asked taking the offered bottle Dean handed him and sat down on the porch. Bobby walked out and joined them commenting that Annika had taken off for a bit. Dean filled Bobby in, his eyes bulging at the events Dean described, even Sam was staring at Dean funny when he mentioned threatening to shoot her.

"Boy's, you make me feel like retiring sometimes." Bobby rubbed a hand over his face and took a long swallow of the whiskey.

"First off I think you need to focus on one thing at a time. Sam needs to get his head out of his ass about his soul. Then we need to figure out what Annika is going to do to get his soul back and Michael out the cage. You two work on that and I'll work on researching Purgatory, Tartarus, and whatever it is I can find of this Akashic Plain." Dean reached out and stopped Bobby before he went into the house.

"Hey, you know anything about angels who are called the "watchers" or something?" Bobby shook his head.

"No why?"

"Cas mentioned them, said they were imprisoned in this place called Tartarus for something bad and he looked as close to scared as an Archangel can get."

"Dean," Sam said, "you really want to go poking your nose in something bad enough to scare angels?" Dean nodded his head yes.

"If it will give more information on what Annika is and what she's planning for us then yes I do."

Bobby walked into the house and left the brother's alone on the porch. Sam looked over at Dean who offered the bottle to him. Sam took it, sipped, and twirled the bottle around for a moment. Dean looked at him, sensing some of the old Sam in the movements, knowing that Sam always used to fidget like this when he had something to say. Dean walked over to the Impala, slid in behind the wheel, and turned down the radio.

"C'mon, let's drive for a bit Sam." Sam nodded and strode to the car and got in.

They road for a while in silence, windows down to feel the fresh afternoon air, Sam contemplative, Dean just typically brooding. Nothing bothered Sam but for some reason he was having a hard time vocalizing what was going on in that huge head of his. Dean looked over at him and sighed.

"Ok Sam, out with it. What's got your panties in a wad?" Sam sighed and looked at his clenched fist resting on the door panel.

"I was ready to tell you that I didn't want my soul back." Dean whipped his head towards Sam a reproach on the tip of his tongue. His brothers face was drawn tight, his lips pursed in a manner so like the old Sam.

"Sam ... " he started, but Sam held a hand up and stopped him.

"But after I got to thinking about some things that Annika's told me I truly think that maybe my soul isn't the answer. I mean what if I truly am better without it?"

"Dude, you're fucking nuts if you think you can just leave it in the pit like that. I won't let that happen ..." Sam's deep frown was quick and he glared at Dean.

"It's MY choice Dean, MY soul." He pointed to himself as he said it to Dean. "I have to want it back."

"Damit Sam ... "

"And then ..." Sam said interrupting Dean and began fishing through his pockets.

Carefully he laid out a rough piece of leather string on the dash of the Impala, the gold amulet resting quietly on the dash, and Dean brought the car to screeching halt in the middle of the deserted road they had been traveling. He reached forward and grabbed the necklace which been flung forward, hearing once again the sounds of Lego's ratting around in the vent, and held the precious gift in his hand, tears springing up instantly as he turned to look at the face of his brother.

"Then I found this in my duffle bag. The second I picked it up I knew what it was, could FEEL the emotions tied to it."

"How? I thought we left it back at that motel trash can." Sam nodded.

"I picked it out of it after you walked out of the room. I knew then that it was still apart of us, still something that tied us, me and you, together. So I kept it. I guess I just figured you would find it in my stuff after I was gone. It was with a letter too. I'd like for you to read it." Dean pulled the car to the side of the road and took the letter from Sam's hands. Dean noticed the letter had been crumpled and well read.

_Dean,_

_ If you're reading this then I guess that means that I'm gone and not coming back again. I could go on some sappy chic moment tangent, tell you that you need to forget me and move on, and be happy with Lisa and Ben but I know right about now you're probably not in the mood to hear that crap. So, I thought that I would give you back the amulet one last time. Everything I am, everything you meant to me, is right there in that necklace. Wear it and remember the good times._

_Sammy_

Dean rushed out of the car and immediately knelt down on the ground, propping his hip against the warm sides of the Impala. Grief making his shoulders shake, tears streaking down his face, the letter pressed to his chest as he stared up in the sky.

"_Oh God Cas, did you know this? I can't go on anymore, just end me now. Please!" Dean pleaded to Cas in a silent prayer._

Sam got out of the car and leaned against the hood beside Dean. He handed Dean the bottle of whiskey that seemed to be endless, briefly wondering if Cas had something to do with that, and Dean shook his head. He folded the letter up carefully and placed in his jacket pocket, then slipped the necklace over his head where it settled gently against his heart. A calming warmth spread throughout Deans entire body and he looked over at Sam.

"I didn't want it back till I felt that amulet Dean. I felt the emotions in it, the feelings that Sam had, and I have to say it felt right. I felt right, for once."

"I can't go on like this anymore Sam." Sam nodded.

"I know. So, here's the thing ..." he looked over at Dean, took the bottle, and downed a huge gulp.

"Annika told me that I had to bring my time in hell, the parts I can remember, to the forefront of my mind. Talking about them to you being the ideal way to do that. I figure it's best if I do this now since it will be easier without anyone else around." Dean stared at him, his hand still on the amulet, his eyes narrowed. He drew in a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok, you sure about all this?" Sam nodded.

"I'll be brief and if you want me to expound on something just ask me." Dean nodded his agreement. He handed the bottle over to Sam and crossed his arms. Sam took another drink, Dean noticing Sam's hands had the slightest shake to them.

"Um, so I guess the first thing was how cold it was. I mean it went straight through your bones cold." Sam shuffled for a moment and seem to hunker into his coat more, he took another swig from the bottle, suddenly making Dean wished they didn't have to have this conversation.

"I don't know where Michael or Adam went at first. I know that he liked keeping me inside these mirrors. He was still wearing my body, you see, and he was so angry, using my rage and my body, doing things that he wanted me to watch. Torturing people, raping women, having this brutal sex with women and men and he wanted to make sure I was watching every second of it. He made me repeat beating you at the cemetery, feel your bones crunch, then he'd just beat me. Then he'd leave me alone with the demons, let them do whatever they wanted with me, while he went off after Michael. Some would just carve me up, others would look like you and they'd make me carve them up, or worse, they'd make me drink gallons of blood from bodies that looked like yours, call me their blood whore, and force me to rape you or Adam, or anyone they thought would be horrible for me to think of. And the whole time it was going on, they made sure I heard my voice screaming for you to come and save me, while I felt every pain, degradation, humiliation of the things they were doing to me, my body, or all the others. He liked that, loves to revel in the pain, can feel it from everyone in Hell and made sure I felt it, and that I felt that he liked it."

Dean nearly lost it, he'd started running, screaming at the top of his lungs, cursing Heaven, Hell, mankind, anyone he could blame his soulless brother's blank eyes and emotionless voice that had just recounted a horror that he'd lived for much longer than Dean would have held out in. He finaly came to rest in the field they had parked beside and dropped down to his knees, head in his hands, hearing nothing but his baby brother's voice begging him to save him from the bad thing under the bed, knowing full well that Sam's voice had hit deaf ears and hearing the fear that hit when Sam had realized his big brother couldn't save him this time.

"Get up Dean, he needs you." Dean jerked his head up, fixing Annika with a stare that would have withered the stoutest man.

"If it was up to me, I'd kill you all. I'd do it all over again, I'd say yes and then take Sam and me to some private piece of Heaven and say FUCK YOU ALL!" Dean yelled at her. Her sorrowful green eyes misting over with green fire, tendrils arching up from the ground around her feet. She knelt down and put a hand on Deans shoulder.

"No, you wouldn't. But it's that feisty attitude that makes you so charming. Now get up Ms. Sugarplum Fairy, you're brothers telling you his vacation story, pouring his heart and soul into it even." Dean stood up and cocked a look at her.

"Pouring his what into it?" he asked confused. She smiled softly at him once again, spun him towards Sam, who was sitting on the front of the Impala looking down the still deserted road, sipping from the whiskey bottle.

"Go on Dean, listen to his journey. It was the hardest one for him, but he's almost done now." Dean felt compelled to walk back to the car, something not quite right about what was going on, something fuzzy in the back of his mind making him wonder about exactly where they were and why there were no cars on the road, but all he could think of was that he needed to get back to Sam, hear the story.

"Funny thing about it all Dean," Dean suddenly was standing beside Sam, who had turned and was looking directly at him, like he'd never ran off, continuing on with his story, "was that every time I remembered the cemetery he'd get even more angry."

"Why was that Sam? What did you remember from the cemetery?" Annika's voice came from behind Dean. She was there but Dean couldn't look away from Sam's eyes.

"My fist was pulled back, ready to land one final punch that would break Dean's neck, crush his skull with my bare hands. But there was this light, and these memories of our childhood, of the silly things me and Dean did inside the Impala, the little green army man in door that Dean didn't remove after the crash, and ..." Sam frowned, "I could feel something in my fist. Felt something slide away from me, like I was out of my own body then, looking down." Sam reached out and touched Dean's hand, which was clenched around the amulet.

"It wasn't until I found the amulet and the letter that I remembered what it was that I had felt for the briefest moment in my hand. It was the amulet." Dean new in that very moment what Annika had brought them out here for. The amulet had Sam's soul inside it, and from the look on Sam's face, he had realized it too.

"How?" Dean asked, finaly turning to look at Annika.

"Simple. It's like Sam said in his letter, though he didn't realize it at the time _'Everything I am, everything you meant to me, is right there in that necklace. Wear it and remember ...' _Like I said, God had a plan, and he never ever left either of you. He was there, right from the beginning walking beside you both."

"What now?" Sam asked. Annika shrugged.

"If you want it, take it back Sam." Dean dropped his hand and Sam stared at the amulet.

He slowly eased it over Dean's head and held it in his hand. It was warm to the touch and so inviting, Sam hadn't felt such warmth in a long time. But his hands were shaking and suddenly he felt like he was three years old again and learning to tie his shoes for the first time. He raised his eyes to Dean who smiled, took Sam's hands in his own, and lowered the necklace over Sam's heart. It glowed a bright, brilliant yellow light, and suddenly Sam was laying on the ground at Dean's feet screaming his name, blood pouring from his tightly shut eyes, bloodied hands clawing at nothing, and sulphur covering every inch of his battered, bruised, and broken body.

**** A/N: Sam's soul is back, but there's still more for the guys to do. Though this was not exactly how I was going to have Sam get his soul back I like the thought of the amulet showing back up and Sam's soul having been stored in it all this time. I mean seriously, the amulet just HAS to come back am I right? And don't worry, next two chapters will wrap up what's going on with Michael/Adam and what choices Dean and Sam make about Annika's proposal. And oh yeah, what goes on as far as relationships between Dean/Lisa and Sam/Annika. It's really late (after midnight) so I may not have adequately spell checked/grammar checked/edited this well. If there are too many mistakes, I'll correct them later. Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Annika ported Dean and Sam's body back to Bobby's house. Sam had calmed down to shaking, as if in shock, but hadn't opened his eyes or spoke except for a soundless whimper here and there in two days. Dean was beside himself, in one moment pleading with Castiel to fix his brother and the next, screaming for Crowley to make a deal to fix what Cas couldn't. By the third week of Sam being in a vegetative state, trapped in the horror of his own mind, Dean realized that his brother was never going to be normal again. Annika had remained silent and apart from them, refusing to come to back from whatever place she went to, even as Dean pleaded for her help. Cas had cleaned Sam up, Bobby had supplied a hospital bed and IV fluids he'd stolen from the local clinic, and Dean hadn't left his brother's side.

"Dean, it's been three weeks, I don't think Sam is coming out of this. We need to figure out what we are going to do with him. He needs professional help, at the very least he needs to be under a doctor's care." Bobby leaned against the door jam and looked at Dean who was sitting beside Sam's bed with his head in hands, a whiskey bottle at the floor by his feet.

"I know Bobby. I just can't ... I can't believe that between Heaven and Hell there isn't anything that can be done about Sam."

"Oh, no one ever said that NOTHING could be done." Dean flew out of his seat and straight at Annika. She laughed and tossed Dean up in the air and against the wall. Bobby joined him on the other side as she simply stood there smirking.

"Riiight, like you ladies could get the jump on me. Sit down and relax." She dropped them unceremoniously on the floor and walked to Sam's beside. She closed her eyes and ran her hand down Sam's chest. Inhaling deeply, she paused over his heart, and then looked deep into Dean's eyes.

"Poor Sam, such torture he went through. Looks as if Michael and Lucifer played tag in their frustration. My bad, always thought that Michael would be the good son no matter what. Guess everyone has their off days huh?" She shrugged and straightened.

"I'm going to kill you bitch .. "Dean made a lunge for the angel steel dagger and before he could reach it, Bobby yanked him back and held him down in the chair.

"Don't be stupid boy ..." Dean looked at Annika.

"What do you want from us?" She smiled.

"Simply for you to say that overused word "YES" you pathetic shit." She said as she leaned against the dresser next to Sam's bed. Bobby shook his head.

"You mean taking on Judgment and Wrath." She nodded.

"It's simple Dean, you take on the power of Judgment, and Sam will take on Wrath. In doing so he'll get enough juice in that horrible mortal sponge some call a brain. He'll basically rewire himself and pull through it."

"And what about Sam, will he be himself again? What will it do to him?" Dean asked frowning, knowing full well nothing good ever came of miracles for the Winchester brothers. Annika rolled her eyes.

"If I wanted mindless minions to do my bidding I'd hire the cast of "Jersey Shore". I need professionals; someone who I know will do the job right. I chose you two. And because I'm so generous, I helped Sam out a bit." She drew the sheets back and pulled Sam's t'shirt up to expose his torso. As she passed her hand over his stomach and chest runes began to glow a soft green. Bobby's eyes narrowed and Dean cast a swift glance his way.

"What are those? What did you do to him?" She smiled once again.

"Consider them the glue holding Sammy boy together Dean darling." Dean snorted and stood and began pacing, the dagger still in his hands.

"And let me guess, you'll unravel those spells and kill my brother if I say no right? I've been down this road before and me and Sam get fucked every time you EVIL FREAKING BITCH!" Dean kicks the chair and sends it flying into the wall, splintering the pieces all over the floor. Annika sighs and cocks her head just watching Dean. Bobby stands there for a sec and looks at her. She frowns and finaly meets his stare.

"Something you want to add Bobby?" she stated.

"Yeah, which of them did you spring from?" Bobby asked, handing Dean a piece of paper.

"The Watchers from the Book of Enoch?" Dean looked at Bobby quizzically and the back to Annika who had pulled herself up straight and was glaring furiously at Bobby.

"Where did you get that information from?"

"It was a hunch; you were talking to me pretty in depth about Purgatory and Tartarus so Bobby dug around." Her eyes narrowed and green fire sprang forth.

"Ohhhh .. Now look who's a bit testy."

"If you're magic incarnate then your father must have been Samyaza, but then I remembered that you said you made the weapons and the prisons and that left one other person that could have fathered you ..." Annika rushed Bobby sending him flying out into the hallway.

"Shut up ..." she threatened.

"Azazel." Dean said and she whipped around laughing, landing a hard blow to Deans face sending him into the hallway along with Bobby. Both hunters lay reeling, trying to shake off the force of the blows, and suddenly Annika was right on top of them. With one flick of her wrist, they are tossed down the hallway towards the stairs.

"I've paid for my existence over and over again because of the betrayal of two hundred of Michaels "Best of the Best" warriors and their damn libidos! ANGELS couldn't keep their fucking pants on because of stupid mortal women!" Another blast of Annika's power sent Dean and Bobby flying down the stairs into the living room. The whole house was shaking with her wrath.

"They were sent to earth to simply watch over the humans but they feel in LOVE," she spat the word like it was evil itself," and then married the whores and fathered children with them. And you know what? They were reviled by humans and angels, god even demons wouldn't take them in!" Bobby shoved himself up on his elbows and stared at her aghast.

"Nephilim. That's what you are." Annika shook her head.

"No numb skull I am MAGIC. Residual magic of their making. I locked them in Tartarus. My covenant, as I'm sure Cas is just wailing to get at, is set in stone pillars in Heaven. I am condemned to forever be the jailer of Purgatory, Hell, and Tartarus and maintain the binding magic that created them. The suck thing about it is," she shook her head and huffed, slamming both Dean and Bobby to the ceiling," I was given one way out of my eternal janitor service. To get someone to AGREE to take on part of the job. I honestly thought you two would be the best bet, I mean DAMN, not only would you get some killer go juice from the power of Judgment and Wrath, but the perks are AWESOME you stupid little prick!" She angrily dropped them to the floor. Both men landed hard and almost blacked out except Annika conjured chairs and both Dean and Bobby found themselves sitting in them unable to move as the very angry being continued her rampage.

"It's like," she made wild gestures with her hands, a grimace of disgust on her face, then stopped at Dean's chair and leaned in to look him in the eye, "like having to listen to Lady Gaga while getting a root canal." Dean's face screwed up in to a tight look of horror.

"And finaly the chance to lighten my load a bit, to how should I say, delegate some responsibilities to two humans who are already ganking monsters anyway! I just wanted a break from the janitorial part of the job. Cleaning up the human/demon messes down here while I pull celestial duty out there. But hell no! I pick the only two humans in the known universes that are destined to throw a monkey wrench in God's plan .. GOD mind you .. I mean seriously who gets away with that seriously? ONLY you two that's who .. ONLY Dean and Sam Winchester! I mean the rest of us pull shit duty for eternity for simply being the product of said screw ups but you two get more resurrections than Elvis Presley!" She stopped took a swig of whiskey and leaned against Bobby's desk.

"And at what point did you fall in love with Sam?" Dean asked quietly. She looked at him and chuckled.

"Love? Whatever." She shook her head and took another sip looking out the window.

"Don't lie to me ... if you've been planning on handing over the reins for a while that means you've been watching Sam."

"I could watch only, never interfere, because as the covenant states, if I draw first then I'm shipped directly to Tartarus, do not pass go, do not collect a hundred dollars. I did my best." Dean's eyes widened.

"You're best? You think the life that we lived was you doing your best?" Dean was nearly speechless.

"You think it would have been different if I had come to you the night your mother died and told your father how the future was going to play out?" Annika looked at him with an astounded look on her face. "You think that Castiel hasn't wanted to go back in time and alter the past to save you and Sam?" Annika pushed away from the desk and approached Dean's chair.

"The only difference, Dean, is that you, maybe you, would have chosen chicken instead of cheeseburger, that's it. Pre-Ordained destiny doesn't alter, it simply plays out, and what I did do for you and Sam was the BEST that I could do for you."

"So you're saying it could have been worse?" Bobby asked looking unconvinced. Annika fixed him with a glare.

"Dean already knows what it could have been like, Zachariah sent him there once before." Dean was suddenly hit with déjà vu where he'd been sent back to an alternate time, when Sam had said yes before Detroit and all hell had broken loose.

"You mean ..." Dean started but Annika interrupted.

"I saved you and Sam's relationship, kept you close so you and Sam would be able to handle the things you were going to go through. No one could have guessed that you two would go about sacrificing yourselves, but damn Dean, you think you'd have at least questioned Ruby or taken the hints Gabriel was giving you. But no, you blindly went and mucked on through every road block I threw up to guide you in what I felt was the best possible choice for a doomed life that you were leading. You were dead the moment Mary gave birth to you Dean, I was just making them all count." She released Dean and Bobby from her enchantment and tossed him the whiskey bottle.

"For the love of Pete, you really think you would have made it this far if you hadn't had a muse on your other shoulder? Because you had a demon riding your ass since Sam was 6 months old." Dean sat there and took in all she said, sipping from the whiskey bottle, and handing it over to Bobby who sat there looking at him in silence.

"So why leave Sam like this? Why let it go on so long if you care so much about him?" Annika laughed and shook her head at him.

"Because you have to understand what life will be like if you don't agree Dean. I am what I am and you will be part of that if you say yes. But this time, you'll get the better end of a raw deal. Judgment and Wrath are not something that you take on lightly, and Sam will not be wholly evil but he will be a long way from the docile little Sammy that you remember. He'll be more like he is now but he'll feel emotions, luckily for you that means he'll have a 'moral compass'. Nevertheless, Wrath is more designed for demonic forces, which fits just fine with Sam's demonic bloodline."

"So if I don't say yes then you leave Sam to rot and if I accept then you'll fill us with some sort of power that will save him is that right? And then what?" Annika shrugged.

"You take in the power and go about your business. Judge, redeem, or execute based on your call. It's simple. You get full on access to places that even Cas can't get in to, teleportation comes a little slower till you learn not to port yourself in the middle of a mountain or some such dumb luck, pretty much a get out of jail free card if you wind up getting yourself killed since about the only thing that will kill you is if you are beheaded and burnt with holy fire, not that that is how you kill me." She fixed him and Bobby with a fierce glare.

"What's the catch?" Bobby asked. Annika shrugged.

"Standard Charmed Ones tag line, you can't use the powers for personal gain or to intentionally harm an innocent. If you go rogue I hunt you down, haul your ass to Tartarus, and let you find out just why hell cast out two hundred rogue angels because they were "too much trouble". And, after a time, when the powers are no longer required, you have to willingly give them back to me." Dean sputtered.

"Give them back? After how long? What about Sam?" he yelled. She rolled her eyes.

"You die, and for good this time." Bobby's face turned white.

"How long are we talking here?"

"I don't know, as long as it takes I guess." Dean laughed a bitter laugh.

"So, this is damned close to my deal with the crossroads demon."

"Not even close, I'm giving you power and a guaranteed free ride to heaven when the jobs done and you're simply giving up your humanity. Not like I'm asking for your soul and condemning you to an eternal life in hell."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Somewhere, inside Sam's head, he knew that he was out of the cage. However, the pain, torture and, humiliation kept him locked somewhere dark and terrifying. He knew he needed to get out, back to Dean, but it was like every movement, every thought, sent white-hot stabs of pain through his head. So he stopped thinking and moving and gave in to the darkness. After a while though the darkness seemed to be threatening, nightmarish, and cold. He started to feel like he was choking and then he'd start screaming Dean's name, begging for someone to find him.

Then he remembered what Annika had told him, about the journey to get his soul, and how it was the hardest one he could take but if he kept his memories of hell foremost in his mind then he could overcome them. Slowly at first he noticed little things, like runes, and if he focused on them they were laid out like a pathway. He started following the pathway, slowly because the pain was immense, but then faster as he began ignoring the pain, getting more used to it. He soon realized that the pain wasn't physical pain, it was echoes of Lucifer's demonic overpowerment of his mind and body and if he followed the runic pathways it would lead him to memories and once he confronted those memories he didn't hurt him anymore.

It was like watching his life in a 3-D black and white movie, going all the way back to his childhood. He encountered himself as a small boy of no more than eight years old, in an old motel bathroom. He'd took a knife from under Dean's pillow and went into the bathroom. He was scared and alone, Dean had went to steal some food for them because their Dad had been gone for weeks. If he applied the knife point to his inner thigh where no one would see, then the pain took away his fear, made him focus on something else.

"_You're going to hate me one day_ ..." he heard Annika say and followed the echo to the night they had sex.

He watched her burn runes in his back, thighs, and along his arms, too caught up in the delicious pain she was creating for him to notice at the time. He'd never confronted his addiction to pain/pleasure before because it had been so taboo for him to even consider bringing it up to a lover after the incident with Jessica. He'd been ashamed and frightened and pushed it to the back of his mind. But as Annika had stated over and over, the journey to get his soul was just the beginning. And confronting his past and present was the only to guarantee to a future, so he kept pushing on through horrors that repulsed him like being forced to have sex with demons who had looked like Dean or drink blood from what he had thought had been his mother's body after he'd been forced to watch them flay her like a fish. He went through countless tortures of endless pain and suffering before he finaly came to the last rune on the pathway and a door that looked impossible to pass.

Sam knew that behind that door was his freedom; however, just as Annika had described it, it was huge and impossibly hard to get to. He struggled up the mountain full of sharp jagged rocks, falling back down several times, his hands bloody and his body incredibly tired. He was panting, struggling for breath the closer he got to the door. Finaly reaching it he paused for a moment, looked back down, and jerked in shock. Behind him no longer was a mountain but the runed pathway, he'd beaten the obstacles so far, and it gave him inspiration to beat this final one. He turned once more to the door, considering what kind of strength it would take to open it. He felt weak, powerless to barely able to move an inch, and virtually worthless from his exhaustive efforts to get up the mountain. He shook his head feeling so defeated at the moment.

_"There's simplicity in Death."_

_"Really?" A soft chuckle._

_"In death there is beauty, art, and peace."_

_"Beauty, art, and peace?"_

_"Beauty and art in the forms that death can take and peace in the release one gets from death in the end."_

_"Annika, that is ... poetically psychotic." Laughter._

_"Sam, you and I, we're wired differently than Dean and all the rest. Dean is fueled by the peace he gets from saving people from the monsters in this world, the love he feels for you, his brother, his last remaining family member, who he would sacrifice everything for. You, you are fueled by the anger of your demon blood, the revenge you crave for the life you've been dealt, the rage you feel every time you think Dean has to sacrifice just little bit more of himself over you."_

_Another memory resurfaces - _

_"__Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there. It's awesome."_

Sam stands up, not knowing how long he'd been here, and looks at the door in frustration. Somehow he just knew that it was time to get out of this place, time to get out of his head, and back to reality. He heard a noise, turned, and to his shock saw a blast wave of fire heading towards him. He turned desperately to the door now and with all his might began shoving and finaly it started to give way slowly. Just as he finaly pushed the door free the blast wave hit him.

Back downstairs Dean and Bobby are looking at Annika like in dumbfounded shock.

"Are you insane?" Dean blurts out staring angrily at Annika.

"No, she's lying." Annika sighed as they all turned to see Sam leaning heavily on the railing at the top of stairs. He had one hand wrapped around his stomach and his skin was reddened and blistered where Annika's runes had once been.

"SAM!" Dean yelled.

Sam took a shuffling step forward and put a hand out towards the wall to stabilize himself. Dean took the stairs two at a time, stopping in front of his brother, and looked deep into his eyes. "Is it you?" Sam nodded, tears in his eyes, and reached out to Dean who enveloped him in a tight bear hug. Sam yelped in pain and Dean immediately let go.

"Sammy, it's really you." Dean whispered amazed.

"Yeah, all the pieces are back together Dean, and a few extra bits as well." Sam's soulful brown eyes turned from soft and caring immediately to an eerie amber color and Dean jumped back, Sam's hand still on his shoulder but now it was glowing with hell fire.

"Sam," he breathed, "what happened?" Sam nodded towards Annika.

"Ask her." Dean whipped around and fixed Annika a hard glare.

"Wrath? You said you had to have permission first you lying bitch!" He yelled. Annika just stared at Sam and shrugged.

"I would have had to have your permission." Sam nodded.

"But you were lying Annika, because we already had Judgment and Wrath in us, didn't we?" Annika sighed as Dean began helping his brother down the stairs.

"Wait BOTH of you are already Judgment and Wrath? Why hasn't Dean started getting all glowy and weird?" Bobby asked as he came forward and stared at Sam apprehensively at first. Sam nodded at him and Bobby hugged him tight, whispering in his ear, "_Damn good to see you back and in one piece again son._" Sam smiled at him, his hellfire receded, but his eyes remained the same.

"Once Dean taps the power it will show up, all he has to do is access it." Sam said as he looked at Dean once more and gestured towards him to try it.

Dean closed his eyes and concentrated hard, searching inwards for the power. And there it was, nestled softly at his core, silently waiting for his cue to spring forth. Suddenly Dean remembered when he killed Zachariah, the archangel, and realizes now that he had the power even then. He opened his eyes and just like Sam's they were filled with fire, a misty green holy fire.

"But why weren't we able to tap into it to defeat Lucifer and how did Sam loose his soul with that kind of power in him?" Dean looked at Annika.

"Because you didn't get them till after Sam went into the pit, till God's plan came to fruition by your choices." Castile's voice answered from behind Dean, who turned and looked at him, completely confused, but grateful he'd chosen to show up.

"But I remember tapping into something powerful to kill Zachariah."

"Your body had begun to make the changes but Sam wasn't there yet." Dean looked at Annika once more.

"So then back to the original question, why lie to us?" Annika looked away from them all and out the window.

"Love. She knew the only way to get access to Heaven is if she controlled Judgment." She glared at Cas once then back out the window.

"But why would you," Dean looked over at her, his mouth opened in a 'oh', "Sam will go to heaven like you said earlier and you, little stalker that you are, wanted access to see him when he does go."

"Love?" Sam said incredulously, looking at her. She turned to look at him and sighed and rolled her eyes at him. He laughed.

"You love me don't you?" Hellfire erupted all around him as he walked over to Annika. She immediately summoned her own fire and put up a restraining hand.

"Sam ..." she said defensively, looking around the room.

"Say it, out loud, I want to hear you say it." He advanced, grabbing her wrist, their fire entwining.

"Bite me ass wipe!" He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Pulling back he said, "I missed you too, bitchy." Dean sighed.

"So what now, we're both Judgment and Wrath, so we just go gank monsters and offer second chances to any demon I feel hasn't screwed us ... Damn dude seriously! Get a flame retardant room!" Dean grumbles as the curtains near Sam and Annika begin to catch fire. Annika raises her hand the fire goes out.

"Ok, so this brings up a good question," he says looking at Dean and grinning wickedly. Dean laughs.

"No job as yet, have at it man." Sam nods, him, and Annika disappear. Dean shakes his head and looks to Cas.

"That's a match made in hell." Cas nods.

"Pretty much. What are you going to do?" Dean smiles and reaches for Bobby's arm. He focuses hard and summons his powers. Bobby's forehead glows and suddenly Sam is standing in the middle of the room, stark naked. He immediately covers himself with his hands.

"What the hell Dean?" Sam says, irritated.

All eyebrows raise at the sight of Sam and his obvious state of arousal.

"Note to self, using our powers apparently summons both of us no matter where or what we are doing." Sam's features scrunch into the long awaited bitch face Dean has missed for so long.

"You judged Bobby?" Bobby looked at Dean stunned.

"Just wanted to make sure ALL my family will be waiting at the big Road House in the Sky. Go go Red Power Ranger, I have someone on my make up list too." Sam disappeared and Dean smiled at Bobby and Cas.

"I'm going to see if I can't work up a little forgiveness in Lisa, I'll be back soon." And Dean disappeared as well. Cas stared at Bobby and sighed. Bobby handed the angel the bottle of whiskey.

"Here, you look like you could use some." Cas nodded.

"We'd better get to work finding them something to keep themselves occupied or next place they will land will be the middle of Hell just because Dean got bored or something like that." Cas' eyes widened.

"Perhaps I should enforce a covenant on them as well." Bobby laughed.

"Won't do you much good, they are Winchesters after all. If anyone can worm their way out of something it's those two!"

Later on Cas was perched on a rock high up on a mountain top watching the sun set over the clouds. He loved this place, he loved this world, and had his relationship with the Winchesters to thank for that. He'd never have been able to appreciate his Father's creations if it hadn't been for them. He felt a slight shift in the air around him and soon he was facing Annika who propped herself on the rock beside him and winked.

"Everything ok?" Cas nodded.

"Raphael has been subdued, for now at least. He'll be reprogrammed and so will his followers. Michael is ... subdued as well. Adam is with his mother, though later I feel he will want to speak with Dean and Sam. Thank you for your help." Annika nodded.

"All you have to do is ask Cas, you know I would help, no matter what you think of me." Cas looked at her.

"You didn't have to lie to them, I would have changed the Covenant and let you in to see Sam." Annika chuckled.

"You really think it was over that? It's sweet and sweet is definitely not my thing." Cas shook his head, knowing she was lying then too, but he let it slip.

"If not for access to heaven to see Sam, then what?"

"Lisa, to make sure that she got her piece of Dean's pie." Cas looked up, understanding what she had been trying to maneuver. _And that's not sweet? _Cas thought.

"He never would allow Lisa into this life Annika, nor Ben. He would be appalled at even considering it." Annika shrugged.

"Doesn't matter, they are in it, just by association with Dean. It's how he deals with it now that matter's and I dare say he will soon be having a new co-pilot." Cas looked at her questioningly. She smiled wickedly and winked at the Angel.

"Human sex is a wonderful thing, you should try it." At Cas's shocked looked she laughed and disappeared.

Back at Bobby's he was making his way up the stairs, picking a speck of dust from his white shirt, he paused at the door to the room that Sam had been recovering in. A soft glowing light was flickering from underneath it so he opened the door. There on the bed lay the amulet that had housed Sam's soul. And it was glowing. He smiled and scooped up the amulet, letting it rest in his palm for a moment.

"Well now, we can't have you just lying around can we?" he said to himself and pocketed the amulet.

He was pleased with the way things had turned out.

**A/N: Hope you liked my story, please review! I was going to add a bit more about Michael/Adam but I decided to focus the ending this way, and making Bobby/God at the end was a fitting way of paying tribute to the character and the work he does for all the Hunters. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed this fic!**

_**A/N: Again, Supernatural is not mine, nor are any of the characters herein with exception to Annika (who is mine). **_


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